Talking about death won’t kill you
By Jordan Cleland
———————–
Yes, it’s true. Talking about death won’t kill you.
Hear me out.
Death is an inevitable part of life. Sure, we can live a healthy lifestyle and avoid high risk activities. But one thing’s for certain: try as we may, we can’t control when, where, or how it will happen.
The healthiest person could suddenly have a heart attack. The most risk-averse person could get hit by a car walking home from work. Death can happen to any of us, at any time. Even in an ordinary moment like this one.
Does that thought cause you stress and worry? Are you frantically calculating the odds of getting hit by a car coming home from work?
If so, talking about death might help.
In North American culture, death is not commonly spoken about. We’ve created euphemisms to avoid saying it’s name (we say people have passed away, crossed the rainbow bridge, went to sleep,…the list goes on).
It makes sense. For the people left behind, the death of their loved ones can be very painful. To compound on that pain, when people ask for support, often others have their own relationship with death/loss/strong emotion and can be unable to provide the support the other person is looking for. Also, it’s just flat out strange and depressing to think that one day we won’t be on this Earth anymore.
Sadly, all these truths are at odds with the inevitability of death. It’s coming for all of us. So why don’t we talk about it more?
When I avoid scary things, they never get less scary. I try to push the thoughts out of my head and end up getting more nervous or scared because I’m not sure what’s coming. Then, I push the thoughts away and the cycle continues.
Death is a biological process with many factors that influence when it will happen. These factors are mostly unknown to us.
Talking about death won’t kill you, just like talking about sex won’t get you pregnant.
So, here’s my invitation to you:
Talk about death more. You can start in small doses if you’re nervous. Begin noticing that death is all around us: in the winter, in the cotton used to make our clothing, in our pets. Start to come to terms with the fact that life will one day end. Because once you understand that, the question becomes: what can I do with what precious time I have left?
A word of caution:
Once you start talking about death, people may turn away. It might bring up some emotions that are tough to hold. This is normal. It’s not easy but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.
For a safe, expansive, and supportive conversation about death, give us a call. You can also follow us on Instagram if you want to take a baby step toward these thoughts.
